Becoming A Man

On Saturday, my little man turned 12. He has been more excited for this birthday to come along than any other. He is excited to grow up, graduate from Primary and move into Young Mens.

In case you didn't know this about me, 11-12 year old boys are my nemesis. I served in Primary for a long time and it never ceased to amaze me when these sweet sweet boys turned 11 and all of a sudden got an attitude. I understood it, but I didn't like it. And so I vowed to myself that MY sons would never behave that way. Well, when you try and fight nature.....you are in for a big surprise.

Thomas turned 11 and became one of those boys. He was a total punk in primary. Nothing that I said or did helped. Jared and I talked with him & grounded him for his behavior. He lost a lot of privileges during that time. He didn't listen to any of his primary leaders either. Then finally, about 5 months ago, I hit the jackpot.

I explained to Thomas that turning 12 did not guarantee that he would move up. I told him that he needed to show me he was mature enough to handle all of the responsibilities of a young man BEFORE he turned 12. Otherwise, if his current behavior continued, he'd be held back in primary until I thought he was ready. Once he confirmed this fact with our Bishop he did a complete turn around. He paid attention in sharing time and in class. He at least pretended to sing during singing time. He answered questions and even offered to help during lessons. His teachers and the primary presidency all told me they were a little scared at first and didn't know what he was up to.....but then they realized he really was trying.

I was so proud of him.

Well, on Sunday Thomas was ordained as a Deacon. This kid amazes me. Every time I've asked him to check his behavior and make a change he has done it. It has been a struggle and I know it wasn't very fun for him, but he did it. Because he wanted to be a better person. I asked him how he felt after he received the priesthood. He said he felt the same, but more confident and happier.

Today - we were making a box for Goodwill. Thomas was up in his room for a long time. He came down with a bag filled with stuffed animals, some lego sets and other "little boy toys". I think his stuffed animals were the hardest for me to let go of because they represent his childhood. He's had these three stuffed animals since he was a baby. They would comfort him at night and turn into his playmates during the day. As he got older, they became props in the movies he makes with his friends. He has never before wanted to get rid of them. When I asked him why he was donating them he just smiled and said,

"I don't need them anymore mom. I'm growing up and it's time to put childish things away. I want to grow up and be a man. Not a little boy."

I was proud of him but heartbroken too.

When I look at him, I still see that little chubby cheeked boy who loved trains and "cheese" was the only word we could understand. I see the little boy who went off to kindergarten and made me cry all day long because I missed him so much.

But, I am excited to see all things he will accomplish as a young man, and eventually as a man of his own home.

So, even though I am kinda hurting right now, knowing that part of our lives is over. I am excited for what is to come.